STILL SQUATTING?
Life's too short to hover like a Greek Tragedy
We need to talk about The Hover.
If you’ve ever entered a public restroom, taken one look at the toilet seat, and assumed the high-squat stance of a toilet-fearing ninja, congratulations—you’ve joined a global sisterhood of hoverers. We’ve all done it. But while it feels like a survival strategy, hovering may be doing your body (and your sanity) zero favours.
Let’s break it down, with honesty and full acknowledgment that sometimes, peeing in public is a full-on Olympic sport.
The Hover: Born of Fear and Handbag Logistics
Hovering isn’t just about germs. It’s about doing an elaborate bathroom ballet while juggling:
- Your bag (likely your entire life in a tote)
- A jacket
- A tampon or pad
- And sometimes a full-blown jumpsuit situation
There you are, in semi-squat, trousers around your ankles, trying not to touch the walls, not let your hair graze the coat hook, and definitely not let your period product touch the floor. It’s high drama.
What Actually Happens When You Hover
Here’s the not-so-fun part: hovering keeps your pelvic floor muscles clenched. That means your bladder can't fully relax, and suddenly you're doing this tightrope walk of pee-stream trickling.
The result? Incomplete bladder emptying. And that leads to:
- Frequent urges to pee (again!)
- Dribbling
- A higher risk of UTIs
- That annoying "I just went, why do I still feel like I need to go?" feeling
Basically, your bladder is side-eyeing you for not letting it live its best life.
Your Pelvic Floor Deserves Better
Hovering regularly trains your bladder and pelvic floor to misbehave. Over time, it can contribute to real dysfunction—difficulty peeing, pain during sex, even stress incontinence. That thing where you laugh and leak a little? Yeah. Hovering isn’t helping.
The bladder and pelvic floor are besties. They want to work together. Sitting lets them coordinate like a girl band in perfect harmony. Hovering turns them into bickering roommates.
Public Toilets Are Gross... But Let’s Be Honest
We’re not saying public toilets are spa-level clean. No one’s writing poetry about the floor of a train station restroom. But here’s the truth:
- Germs in public toilets are real—airborne and surface-based.
- The toilet seat isn’t sterile, but it’s not likely to make you sick unless you have an open wound or eat your pants afterward.
But let’s cut to it: you’re almost guaranteed to sit on someone else’s golden sprinkle.
No, it’s not fatal. But do you want to sit in someone else’s sprinkle?
That’s where a simple barrier—like a wipe, a disposable cover, or LooREADY’s dissolvable seat covers—makes all the difference. Sit, relax, and let dignity return to the public restroom experience.
Period Products and the Hover From Hell
Let’s talk periods.
There is no greater circus act than trying to hover while inserting or removing a tampon. Especially when your thighs are burning and the wrapper glue won’t peel and your handbag is teetering off a hook like it’s considering a dive into the toilet.
Hovering while managing your period is like trying to do origami in a hurricane. Sit down. Stabilise. Respect the tampon.
Toilet Paper Engineering: The Struggle is Real
We’ve all built emergency pads out of toilet paper. Some of us have MacGyvered liners from scratch with nothing but one-ply and desperation.
Hovering complicates this. Toilet paper unrolls, sticks to your thigh, falls into the bowl, and somehow wraps around your shoe.
You need a solid base to work from. That base is your butt. On a seat. Like nature intended.
How to Pee Like a Grown-Up Woman with Standards
If you truly can’t bring yourself to sit bare on the seat, you’re not out of options. Here’s what the prepared, post-hovering woman keeps in her bag:
- Wipes (for the seat or your hands or your soul)
- Disposable covers (many are terrible—LooREADY is not)
- LooREADY dissolvable seat covers (flushable, biodegradable, and sass-approved)
Sit, pee in peace, and never again do quads-burning squats while cramping.
In Summary: Your Bladder Called, It Wants a Word
Stop the squat. Sit properly. Pee like a boss.
You are not too delicate to sit.
You are too powerful to hover like a confused flamingo.
And if you’re worried about that sprinkle? Handle it. Wipe it. Cover it. Dissolve it with LooREADY.
Because bathrooms are bad enough—your pelvic floor doesn’t need to suffer too.
