🚽 The Unspoken Awkwardness of Public Toilets
Public restrooms - We all use them, we all need them, and yet… we all secretly hate them. There’s something about stepping into a shared bathroom space that triggers an instinctive survival mode—a weird mix of urgency, discomfort, and a desperate need to avoid eye contact at all costs.
Think about it. Have you ever found yourself waiting a little longer in the stall until the coast is clear so you don’t have to walk out and make awkward small talk at the sinks? Ever strategically chosen a stall that’s far from the door or waited for the restroom to be empty just so you can do your business in peace?
Yeah… you’re not alone.
Public toilets turn even the most composed individuals into tactical masterminds. Some people hover, some construct elaborate toilet paper barriers, and some flush multiple times to cover up sound effects (we see you, courtesy flushers). And yet, while most of us keep our stall routines a secret, some brave souls have taken their public restroom experiences to the internet, sharing stories that are way too relatable, hilariously awkward, and sometimes downright horrifying.
So, in the spirit of breaking the silence on stall strategies, here’s a Top 10 list of the funniest, weirdest, and most relatable things people do in the privacy of a public toilet stall. Let’s dive in—just not literally. 🚽😂
1️⃣ The Great Toilet Paper Throne Builder
🧻 Mission: Cover every inch of the toilet seat like you’re wallpapering a house.
🧻 Bonus: If one layer isn’t enough, add three more… just to be safe.
🧻 Downside: It falls apart the second you sit down.
2️⃣ The Olympic Hoverer
🏋️ The move: Squat over the toilet seat like you’re in a CrossFit competition.
🔥 Burns more calories than leg day at the gym.
😰 Lasts until thigh muscles give out and you collapse in defeat.
3️⃣ The Courtesy Flusher
🚽 Tactic: Flush the toilet mid-poop so nobody hears the sound effects.
🫣 Problem: The second you stop flushing, the sound still happens.
💰 Downside: You just wasted a gallon of water trying to save your dignity.
4️⃣ The "I’m Just Here for a Break" Faker
📵 Reality: Didn’t even have to go—just needed to escape life for a minute.
📲 Secret activity: Doomscrolling, texting, catching up on TikToks.
🕰️ Stay time: Until legs go numb.
5️⃣ The "Wait… Where's the Toilet Paper?" Survivor
🧻 Reaches for TP, finds empty roll.
😨 Panics. Looks around for options.
📲 Sends an emergency text to a friend.
🏃♂️ Considers making a run for another stall.
6️⃣ The Overly-Aware Bathroom Breaker
😳 Hates when someone enters the stall next to them.
🛑 Pauses EVERYTHING until they leave.
👀 Listens carefully for their departure before continuing business.
7️⃣ The Escape Room Speedrunner
🏃 Mission: Get in, get out, touch nothing.
⏳ Time spent: Under 30 seconds.
👋 Bonus: Uses foot to flush, shoulder to open doors, and exits like a ninja.
8️⃣ The Overthinker
🧠 What they do: Overanalyze their entire existence while sitting in a stall.
📜 Thoughts include:
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Did I send that email?
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Do I hear someone I know outside?
-
What if I get stuck in here forever?
9️⃣ The Public Bathroom GPS Navigator
🗺️ Scans the entire restroom for the best stall.
🧐 Criteria:
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🚽 The toilet looks clean
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🧻 Toilet paper supply secured
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🚶♂️ Far from the door & away from others 🎯 Once found, mark it as "home base."
🔟 The "I Can’t Leave Now" Situation
🙅♂️ Situation: Finishes business, but someone else enters.
⏳ Stays inside, waiting them out.
🏆 Leaves only when sure they won’t have to make awkward eye contact at the sinks.
😂 How many of these have you done?
